Scott was sleeping. I envied him. I wanted to escape into a world of dreams. I turned on my side and started staring at a yellow light illuminating from the security camera in our bedroom. We had a security system installed a couple years ago. The cameras are hard wired. They are always on unless there is a power outage and even then, they are backed up by batteries. The are continuously, steadily on. I write this because I NEED to hold on to this fact for dear life. It needs to be as factual as us needing oxygen to breath. No one will ever convince me otherwise.
I stared at the camera light and began talking to it as if it my son’s being. I don’t know long I stared at it or how long I talked to it. Time seemed to stand still. Then I saw it! The camera’s steady light began to blink. Blink, blink, blink…For some reason I started counting the blinks. Five, nine, 12, 16. Then, it stopped blinking and the light stayed on steadily for a few seconds. It then started blinking again. This time it only blinked twice…steady for a few seconds, then it blinked twice again.
Sixteen,…sixteen…sixteen blinks….the 16th …the day my son was born….the day my son passed. Could it be??? Ids it a sign??? I wanted to believe…I needed to believe!! I struggled, though….Why the second sets of blinks? If I would know why, then it was surely a sign from him!!! It want the time he was born me….it was the time he left me Why the second set of blinks?? What did it mean…was it meant to be 2, & 2…4…11 11…What did it mean??? I know it’s you Joey and I know this is not a dream. God help me…I need to believe…..what does it mean???
I would get my answer soon enough.
The loss of my son 